Choices
The Peril of Cake All in all I had been doing well, I was feeling pretty good about my accomplishment. I have managed to cut back drastically on sweets, which is important for a diabetic, in some cases its essential. If we eat too much sugar our blood glucose goes up. That can cause a coma, kidney failure, heart failure, blindness, the loss of arms, legs, feet, toes, or fingers. I’ve always had a sweet tooth, and that’s dangerous in my case. We were having a combination late lunch early supper at our local steak house; you probably have one like it in your town. All you can eat, 20 different kinds of meat, dozens of veggies, salads of every kind, and desserts, a separate bar just for desserts. I don’t really eat much, one trip to the salad bar, one trip to the main food bar, small quantities. I cut back drastically on starches (they represent sugar), I cut back more so on fried foods and try to eat things that are good for me. Then the dessert, my big weakness. I’m 49 years old and was raised with the notion that every main meal should end with a dessert, this was instilled in me by my grandparents. But all is well, this establishment has a section of sugar free items for people in my situation. Everything sugarless had blue tongs, blue spoons, and in its own tiny little section on one end of the bar. If the sugar free stuff was all they had I’d be content but it’s not that simple. I have a choice to make, the sugar free desserts (whoopee), or the yards and yards of pies cakes whipped cream chocolate, carrot cake, cobblers and other goodies I can’t identify but would gladly sample. I had resolved myself to eat the lovely pudding, at least it was marked ‘pudding’ but was more reminiscent of my days of changing baby diapers, need I explain further? My hand was on the spoon when I saw it at the other end, the deadly end, the valley of death for diabetics. It was an orange cake with coconut icing, not much can shatter my willpower like coconut cake except for pecan pie and fortunately they didn’t have that. I cracked, I failed miserably. The spoon of brown stuff abandoned, my feet heading toward the cake, my eyes focused on it. There is a verse in the bible that tells us our bodies are temples and we are to maintain them and treat them well. Eating things that are bad for us are therefore, by some schools of thought, a sin. I was about to sin according to some people. I was so enthralled by the cake I didn’t see her until I had it on my plate and looked up at the other people around me. Most guys my age are "excited" by 20 year old girls, I guess it makes them feel younger to think about younger girls. Not me, I can walk right by the kids, my daughter is that age. No, what gets my attention is a woman my age who looks good for her age and even then, one in thousands (or maybe hundreds) actually catches my attention. This was one in a thousand. She was about my age, dark hair with a few strands of gray, she was tall with shoulder length hair. She was wearing blue jeans and a blue denim shirt. She had a figure that would melt an ice cream cone right in your hand and a face that was nothing short of magnificent. She a face that was angelic and a walk that, well, I won’t go there. She walked back to a table and sat by an old coot, older than me. What was an old geezer doing with a woman like that? Coveting a man’s wife, two sins for the price of one, it would have been a nice victory for satan. But I had played this game before, years ago it I wouldn’t have been able to take my eyes off her, I would have thought about her for days. But that was years ago, I know how to win this one now. All it required was switching my attention to my wife, sitting back at our table eating her gummi bears innocently. She trusts me and I won’t betray her trust. She deserves better than the likes of me, she’s been cheated and jerked around most of her life. I will not add to that. For this trap she is my way out, she was and is my choice. God makes sure we always have a choice, a way out of every temptation, cake or pudding, my wife or someone else’s. We are never forced to sin, we’re never in a place where we have no choice but to do what is wrong, there is always a choice. Sometimes we make the wrong ones, sometimes we make the right ones. When we slip and fall, we can get up and go on or we can sit in the mud and cry. Its ok to cry I guess for a while, it always makes me want to cry when I know what’s right and do what is wrong, but it happens. The word ‘repent’ makes me think of some weird guy on a street corner wearing a sheet and carrying a sign. It also makes me think of some sour old preacher screaming at us over a pulpit. Both of those visualizations are drastic, it’s a simple word with a simple meaning. It simply means ‘to turn away from’; to stop doing it, that’s all God expects of us regarding sin. Its not necessary to scream, fall on one’s knees, roll around, thrash, cry and lament. Just stop doing it and ask forgiveness. God likes to forgive; He will do it every time you ask. What was the sin in my case? Was it seeing the woman or eating the cake? It was neither, the cake was a bad choice, due to my weakness but it wasn’t a sin. Satan knows what gets to me so he directed my eyes to the woman. Noticing isn’t a sin, holding that thought in my head, developing it and thinking about her over and over would be the sin. There is a difference between temptation and sin, we’re all tempted, even Jesus was tempted, who knows what thoughts satan hit him with. The sin isn’t the initial thought; the sin is what we do with it. Sweet things can be tempting but deadly physically and spiritually. I walked away from the woman, I ate the cake. My glucose will go up, but that’s why we have insulin, I’ll try to do better next time.
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